My Birthday Wish…

Posted: November 4, 2018 in Uncategorized

In less than two weeks I will celebrate another birthday. For my birthday, I’m going to put up a donation page for the American Diabetes Association.

I am a diabetic. Was diagnosed about 10 years ago. Diabetes is a disease that gives and takes. It has given me a bad heart that goes into ventricular fibrillation several times a day. It has given me chronic pain fro the neuropathy. It has given me crippling medical bills, unquenchable thirst, intense headaches, and insomnia. And it takes.

It has taken my ability to heal. I have cuts and scrapes that have been healing for a year. It is taking my eyesight. It has taken away my ability to fight off infections. It has recently taken a tooth due to an abscess in my mouth. This took away my desire to smile, and affected my speech, and a lot of you know how I do enjoy the sound of my voice. It has taken away basic bodily functions, that we really don’t need to go into. Finally, diabetes will take my life.

My doctor has told me that diabetes will be the cause of my death. He has also told me that I’m a stroke or heart attack waiting to happen. Sometimes, I feel I’m living on borrowed time. Which is why I embrace each moment and person.

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Dear Dad

Posted: July 28, 2018 in Uncategorized

It’s been 10 years now. Seems like only yesterday that I received that text. How sick you were was kept from me. I cried for a week after that…I still do at times. The memories of the times we had together while I was growing up, are so vivid as some of the happiest I had…getting my first baseball glove…learning to play sports…watching you coach and getting to compete with others several years older…and my first Broncos game. I’m told I still look like you. I sometimes catch myself giving someone a look or shaking my head the way you did. It makes me smile.

I have remarried. You would love her. I regret that you never got to meet her. I have three wonderful stepdaughters. I try to follow your example and be a good father to the girls. I have developed a bit of a relationship with my stepsisters and stepmom…largely through social media…I need to do better though. It seems like I let life get in the way.

Dad, not a day goes by that I don’t think of you and wish you were still here. So much pain and joy that I want to share with you. I have a hard time expressing to people just how much I miss you. I live just a few blocks from where we lived when I was growing up. Makes it difficult at times. The little league field is gone. The businesses have changed. The only constant is a son looking up to his dad. I miss you


I have four major symptoms/effects of my semi unchecked diabetes…besides feeling lousy and fatigued.

The first is my irregular heartbeat. Specifically, four or more times a day I go into AFib. Sometimes it’s a minor flutter…other times it’s like a freight train running through my chest. It actually feels like the bed is shaking. More severe at night, but definitely happens a lot. Doesn’t seem to be anything particular that brings it on. It is my heart attack a night.

The second is the ulcers that come and go on the bottoms of my feet. I don’t usually feel them (more on that later). My wife does a great job of checking them for me. The biggest fear is infection…which could lead to amputation and/or death. Wearing diabetic socks definitely helps.

The third is neuropathy. This presents itself in two very different ways. The first is I have little or no feeling in my toes and feet. I have to be really careful about cuts and ulcers. The second is a painful, burning sensation in my thighs and right side. Imagine someone pouring boiling water on you. Fortunately, this isn’t constant. There is always some pain, but only gets bad once or twice a month, and only lasts 4-5 days.

The last, and my most depressing, is it has ruined my smile and altered my speech. I have developed abscesses in my mouth which has made my teeth separate and loosened a couple of them. Not to mention when the abscesses drain and I am swallowing puss and blood. It also makes eating difficult and sometimes painful.

This is my current major symptoms. I manage it as best I can without insurance and access to medication. There are always good days and bad. I am lucky to have a strong support team headed by my wife. Take care of your health. It’s not worth it!

Living with Diabetes

Posted: January 22, 2018 in Uncategorized

I am a diabetic…as most people know. It is something that I’m really good at…that is I suck at it. I am constantly battling my blood sugar. I am an addict. No not opioids or even sex (another story for another day), I am a junk food junkie with a very sweet tooth. Suffice to say it can cause some problems.

My doctor told me that I will die from diabetes but I can choose when. This past year, I put that to the test. My blood glucose got over 600 which bought me a ride in an ambulance and a permanent abnormal heartbeat. The doctor wanted to keep me for a week but our financial situation at the time wasn’t going to allow that. I left with a better appreciation of life and by the end of the year had my A1c down in the normal range. I also was able to ditch the can I had used for a year because of my neuropathy.

A lot of help was given to me of course by my wife Jo…who really stood by me. It’s difficult for me to have help getting shoes, socks, and pants off but she never complains. Also so many friends helped when we needed financial help…especially Phil Skinner. Those of you who witness me and Phil arguing on Facebook fail to see the love. He is my brother. And not sure if I would be around without him.

So I press on…trying to do better. Trying to be a better person. It’s all I can do and I’m thankful and grateful for everyday..

The Biggest Thing

Posted: January 17, 2018 in Uncategorized

The biggest thing that happened during my long writing absence was I got married…again. I don’t know if I believe in soul mates. All I know is I never tire of her company.  Who would have ever thought that I would marry a republican? We are enough alike to keep things fun and enough different to keep things interesting. 

Jo has stood by me through so much. From major health problems that have three times put me in the hospital…including a mild cardiac episode…to the end of a 12 year legal hell. She has been my rock. Not to be overly dramatic but she has probably saved my life a few times. What can you say about someone who loves you unconditionally. I haven’t felt that in my life in a long time. She has helped me find my voice, my religion, my purpose, my life. She has made me want to be a better person. She has three wonderful daughters that I love dearly…even when they are a pain in the neck. But it has been wonderful to see them grow up into three very accomplished and beautiful young women. 

So that’s my big thing…at least the biggest. I can never repay what she has given me. Everyday all I can do is tell her she is the most wonderful and beautiful person in the world. And that I love her. 

Welcome (Back) to my World

Posted: January 15, 2018 in Uncategorized

It’s been far too long. I haven’t written consistently for nearly six years. I told myself, and others, that I didn’t want my views to be construed as those of the politicians I was working with. I haven’t been actively involved in a campaign in 3-1/2 years. It was a copout. It was mostly fear…fear of what I had become…fear of where I was…fear of rejection. I no longer have those fears. I am ready to share my thoughts, my dreams, my fears, my world, with others. I am ready to let people back in. 

Those of you expecting a heavily political blog are going to be mostly disappointed. Politics is such a small part of who I am. Those that think they know me from just social media posts may be pleasantly surprised that I have more depth of character. 

A lot has happened. A lot is yet to happen. Hang on…it’s going to be an interesting ride. Where it takes us, not even I know. I hope it is entertaining. 

DIGNITY

Posted: January 8, 2017 in Uncategorized

​Reprinted from my friend Susan Marques Booth

Dear Utah Legislature, 

Being involved at the end of a person’s life is a unique part of the human experience. It’s highly emotionally charged, because watching someone you love so much suffer, is difficult. My father’s been dying for about a year now. We’ve had the roller coaster of emotions. One minute we’ve been hopeful and positive about my father’s future only to have those very hopes dashed as another tumor grows. 
My dad’s cancer, head and neck cancer, is horrific to see. It not only grows on the inside of your body, but also on the outside. It’s wild, because the thing that is killing him is so very alive and visible. It’s like rockets are shooting out of his neck and shoulder. The right side of his incredibly handsome face is bizarrely distorted, weirdly triangular with large tumors wanting to burst through, right under his eye. His beautiful smile is gone as all of his top teeth had to be taken out and tumors have begun their takeover of his mouth. Despite all of this, he somehow managed to make fun of me and shared my embarrassing experience of trying to use a large industrial buffer, losing control of it and breaking the handle, with everyone. In fact, the last words he shared with me before he drifted off in his drug induced sleep last night was, “Remember when you used the machine?” I wonder if that will be his final memory of me… It was pretty funny.
Hospice has us giving him pain medications every 45 minutes. Yes – EVERY 45 minutes. I wonder if they think that we’re fucking stupid. They have essentially told us, (without telling us), that it’s our job to make sure that he’s too tired to eat or drink. When you don’t eat or drink your kidneys shut down, you go into a coma and you die. They have put the responsibility into our hands which I think is truly unfair, especially for my mom, his main caretaker. My mom will always do what the doctors tell her to do. The dose will be the right amount and it will be delivered as per instructions. My question for the Utah Legislature is this: How is this better, or more “moral” or “ethical”, than allowing my father to choose which day to end his life? That fact of the matter is, although hospice creates an avenue to lessen pain and suffering while someone is dying, they ARE assisting in the progression of the process. Don’t give into cognitive dissonance here. We ARE helping my father to die. Why is that more acceptable than empowering an individual to choose to die on their own terms, when they want to, when there is zero chance of a recovery? The interference of religion in the legislative process needs to be removed. It’s pretty simple, if your faith believes that suicide is some sort of unforgivable sin, by all means, do not participate in it. That’s not our belief. If you want us to respect your beliefs, which we do, please respect ours. My dad deserved the ability to die on his own terms. Now, he’s dying on YOUR terms, but make no mistake – he’s going to die. You’ve prolonged his agony, misery, suffering and pain. You’ve prolonged ours as well. 
Susan Booth

A Culture of Corruption

Posted: May 10, 2016 in Uncategorized

Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely… Recently, Republican legislative leaders wrote that Utah residents were second class citizens because the Federal Government refused to rel…

Source: A Culture of Corruption

A Culture of Corruption

Posted: May 10, 2016 in Uncategorized

Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely…

Recently, Republican legislative leaders wrote that Utah residents were second class citizens because the Federal Government refused to relinquish control of public lands. While I agree that many Utahns are treated as second class, I believe it is due to the one-party system that exists in this state and the inevitable culture of corruption that it has created.

Our last two Attorneys General are awaiting trial for corruption. Recently, our Governor held a fundraiser where lobbyists could talk with him…for a price. A state representative wants to have people who disagree with him investigated. A member of Congress said  those that disagree with him should “die”. During the legislative session, it seems that too often a story comes out about some lawmaker benefiting from a bill that they have proposed. The prison relocation process was seriously flawed, with the perception that the head of it may have profited from inside information. And we haven’t even started talking about the public lands mess, the incredible waste of taxpayer money on message legislation…that usually doesn’t withstand a court challenge, or money being given to build a port in California to ship coal…that California doesn’t even want!

Politics is perception…

It’s not just the profiteering or the cronyism that is troubling…it is the arrogance. Democrats are punished for disagreeing with the Speaker of the House. The LGBT community was punished for what one legislator said was excessively celebrating same-sex marriage. Voter fraud is practiced through gerrymandering. One person, one vote doesn’t exist in Utah. Add to that a Voter ID law that makes it difficult on some Utahns to exercise their rights.

To just say we need to elect more Democrats is just too simplistic. We do need to do that. We need to elect more women and more minorities. We need our elected officials to reflect the diversity that enriches our state. We need that in the judiciary as well. We also need to tighten up the existing ethics laws. We need to cap spending on elections to get rid of the perception that our elected officials are on the take. We also need a bipartisan redistricting commission to restore one person, one vote. Only then can we start to restore the public’s confidence in out elected officials.


5 Things I Learned at My First Tea Party Rally.